Anti-Perk...

So far, I thoroughly LOVE what I do. I love being a counselor! However, lately, being a counselor is somewhat an anti-perk when it comes to dating. Why, you may ask. Afterall, you would think being a counselor helps one figure out the guys who are serious and the ones who are not. While this is generally true (and I don't think you need to be a counselor to figure this out), being a counselor brings with it lots of questions and baggage that normally would not be discussed on a first date. 

Here is how it usually goes (of course there are exceptions to this as with anything else in life):

Me: "Hello. I'm Yasaman. It's very nice to meet you."

Date: "Hi Yasaman. I'm _________. Nice to meet you as well."

Some small talk....

Date: "So...what do you do?"

Me: "Well...I do research and I'm a counselor as well."

Date: (awkward silence and looks a bit like he was just caught on candid camera) "Oh, okay. I see. That's great. Wow. Okay. So....are you analyzing me right now?"

Me: (deep breath, sits up straight, awkwardly look at date because now eye contact has a different meaning) "Well...no, I'm not analyzing you. Not any more than you're analyzing me."

And then begins the unofficial counseling session. All sorts of bad habits, awkward moments, and relationship conflicts are brought up, issues that no one would get to even in the first month of dating. My ability to have chemistry with these dates dies immediately. And thus, my 25th first date comes to an end. Sigh....

Don't get me wrong. I love, love, love what I do. And apparently I'm somewhat good at it to get men to talk about their dysfunctional lives so quickly, but it gets old and feels pretty frustrating. 

On the positive side, I have helped divorced dads connect with programs that help them become better dads.

Lesson:  nothing is ever a waste of time if you're able to look at it from the right perspective. And so I continue my adventures in both dating and in my career happy that I can be of service to whomever I meet regardless of the situation. It's all in the perspective.